Abuse is all around us: Domestic violence and sexual assault
By Correne Martin
“Everyone just assumes domestic violence is physical abuse. But, it’s also financial abuse, sexual abuse, power and control, verbal abuse, elder abuse—anything intended to hurt or humiliate someone.
“It is all around us. It’s in our circles of family and friends.”
These unwanted acts may be happening out of sight and go unnoticed to most citizens; however, domestic abuse and sexual assault are here in Crawford County, according to Glenda and Becky, two local support services advocates who requested their last names be kept from the public as a safety measure.
Glenda and Becky provide community outreach for domestic violence and sexual assault, respectively, through Passages, a 36-year-old private, non-profit program for victims, based in Richland Center, but contracted by the Crawford County Human Services Department. Glenda serves Crawford County and Becky serves Crawford as well as Vernon County. Peter Daniels serves Crawford too as Passages’ school liaison; he has a background in Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).
All three professionals have experienced adverse circumstances in their own lives, which is why they are personally invested and the ideal supporters to understand clients’ situations.
Unfortunately though, for every one domestic violence incident reported, six to 10 go unreported.
Many of the women (and men) who accept Passages’ free services are in a marriage or live-in relationship. At least 50 percent of all U.S. marriages experience some form of abuse, according to the organization. Between 60 and 80 percent of sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the survivor.
These acts are occurring in area communities, according to law enforcement authorities.
The Crawford County Sheriff’s Office records its domestic violence calls under the general term of disorderly conduct. Lieutenant Investigator Ryan Fradette said that, in 2018, there were 75 disorderly conduct reports, six battery calls and 42 sexual assault investigations in the county.
Of those disorderly conduct calls, some could have included child abuse calls, he said. Though, 48 domestic abuse cases were referred on to the district attorney’s office for charges.
The Vernon County Sheriff’s Office shared that its officers responded to 110 domestic violence calls and 52 sexual assault calls in 2018. Through Oct. 18, 2019, officers have responded to 72 domestic violence calls and 20 sexual assault situations.
Of those domestic calls from January 2018 through Oct. 18, 2019, 18 were made to repeat residences (though the suspects may have differed), the office reported. Also, one sexual assault call occurred at a residence with a prior call of the same nature.
Anyone—regardless of age, place of residence or personal background—can contact Passages for help. It’s important to keep in mind that victims are often isolated both emotionally and physically with little resources to get help. This is why Passages, and its supporters, assert that they are vital in Crawford County.
“It’s important to remember, victims are not to blame,” Glenda said.
“They should never feel alone. Our shelter is never full; we don’t turn anyone away,” added Becky.
A recent Crawford County domestic violence survivor described how she arrived at Passages’ shelter one weekend this past summer:
A bystander gave a ride to a female survivor who had walked already 15 miles in extreme heat. This passerby noticed the woman walking alongside the road. She told him her destination was to Passages in Richland Center. The driver gave her a ride, traveling over 60 miles, to see her safely there. This woman had seen Passages’ information at the post office in the small town of Eastman. She had no cell phone or landline to the house and no vehicle. The woman worked together with Catholic Charities and Passages to obtain emergency shelter, food, clothing, financial assistance, legal advocacy, accompaniment to medical appointments, and employment to empower her to reclaim her life.
Passages cost-free, confidential services consist of the following:
•24-hour crisis line—Call (608) 647-3616 or (800) 236-HEAL (4325).
•Emergency shelter—A safe, comfortable living environment where shelter, food, clothing and options for counseling are provided for up to 30 days. The Richland Center shelter is in an undisclosed location, and Passages has worked with other shelters in La Crosse and Platteville when needed.
•Ada James Place—16 apartment homes available to all families meeting income guidelines joined with a transitional living program designed to serve the needs of families committed to building a better future.
•Counseling—Weekly support groups, short-term walk-in counseling for support and problem solving. Crawford County’s weekly support group, WORTHY (We Opt Resilience to Heal Yesterdays) meets every Thursday, at the county administration building, 225 N. Beaumont Rd., Prairie du Chien, in room 204, from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. and from 2 to 4 p.m.; and the second and fourth Fridays of each month in Gays Mills from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. If interested, contact Glenda at (608) 485-0233 or Becky at (608) 604-3434.
•Children’s services—Case management services for child witnesses of domestic violence. Youth support groups and youth anger management groups. School and community presentations.
•Advocacy—Assistance with the courts and social services, emergency medical and legal support. Transportation to work or appointments.
•Information, referral and follow-up—Guidance with community agencies and putting people in touch with resources to assist with long-term change and support. Work with agencies in neighboring counties as necessary.
•Community education—Presentations to educate the public, in-service training for area professionals. Prevention outreach. Regular in-school emotional support meetings with area children who may be identified by staff as living in violent or risky environments.
•Volunteer opportunities—Training for crisis line and shelter staffing, child care, fundraising and maintenance.
“We’re here to support the person from the start, and it never really ends. It’s a pattern unfortunately,” Glenda stated. “We follow them all the way through the process.”
“From housing and safety planning to the court system and support for those who are transitioning/exiting the cycle of violence,” Becky explained. “It’s sad that it’s their normal. They feel they need to be in this situation. But we help them realize these types of abuse, neglect and violations of trust are not acceptable.”
She also shared, and Glenda agreed, that their jobs are rewarding.
“They have gone above and beyond to reach out to their communities in an effort to establish trust and hope for those that feel they have no one to trust and have lost all of their hope,” said Lisa Johanningmeier, Catholic Charities domestic abuse program coordinator, in a 2017 letter of support for Passages to its funding agencies.
Providing grants, financial and in-kind donations, and fundraising for Passages are the Wisconsin Department of Health and Social Services, Department of Justice, area counties as well as churches, corporations and individuals dedicated to confronting these problems.
Passages formed in 1980. It took until 1983 for Passages to connect with Crawford County. Emergency shelter, crisis counseling, hotline calls, prevention and public awareness started.
In the first two years it existed in Crawford County, outreach efforts resulted in a total of 70 women and children using Passages’ emergency domestic violence shelter.
In 1986, human services contracted funding toward staff and services as a result of petitions signed by 27 individuals and business owners across the county. Still, 33 years later, the collaboration continues.
In Crawford County, Passages has established a presence with law enforcement, physical and mental health care providers, faith communities, food pantries, schools, grocery and convenience stores, restaurants, etc. to assist and co-advocate for area residents and transients in need.
Having held her position in support services for sexual assault victims for six years, Becky has helped people through the toughest and scariest of times: “Divorces, Sane (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) exams, restraining orders, medical appointments, food pantry visits, picking up the kids.”
“In Vernon County once, a woman jumped in my car and said ‘go.’ It wasn’t ‘til I started driving that I realized she spoke hardly any English,” Becky revealed.
Glenda detailed a couple types of abusive situations she’s noticed that people may not even realize are examples, including someone who belittles their spouse in front of others or a person who snaps and aggressively punches or forcefully threatens their loved one.
Becky continued, “If you’re in an argument and you don’t feel like having sex afterward but you do just because you want to get it over with, that’s sexual assault, even if you’re married.”
Glenda and Becky work with the Crawford County Sheriff’s and Human Resources departments specifically on the Coordinated Community Response Team (CCRT), Sexual Assault Response Team (SART), Crawford County End Abuse and the Adult Protective Services Interdisciplinary Team (I-Team).
“We’re making a big push about domestic violence and sexual assault awareness,” said Glenda, who started in her new position six months ago. “This is going on in our county.”
Anyone willing to contribute toward the crusade against domestic violence and sexual assault can call Passages office at (608) 647-8775. Volunteers and donations are always welcome.